NOT SO SEEN's Journal

1:50am: ok so today was a day where i've experienced many mixed emotions. i just don't understand girls sometimes. i don't know if i should just give up on finding a real relationship until i move back home or what i should do. all i know is that im very confused on what to do right now. see their is this girl who i dated not so long ago and then we ended up breaking up and now we are talking again and hanging out and a lot of my feelings are coming back but its just i am really scared because when we hang out it seem like we are dating again but when i ask her is we are going to date again she says she doesn't know. i don't know if i am just setting myself up to get hurt in the case that we don't get back together and i just put all my feelings out where again. i just don't know what to do anymore because i just cant stand being alone and depressed anymore. i just dont know what to do with my life anymore.

11:19pm: so tonight was pretty interesting i got to see someone i havnt seen in a while and it was pretty nifty. its also fun because joey is spending the night and we will be rapping on the ones and twos alot of the night. things are finally looking up for julian. i also get to hang out with one cool cat tomorrow maybe even two.

12:22pm: well things have been pretty shitty for me lately.lately. i just hate how people can grow so attached to someone and so accustomed to being with them so easily and then in a spit second they are gone and your alone again just like you were before you meet them. that just shows how insecure somethings can really be. you don't realize how good you have things until the only person that could make you happy is gone. sometimes people just get so used to having someone there for them all the time and being in a serious relationship that when they don't have that person or the serious relationship they are a mess. people just get so accustomed to being in long/serious relationships where its ok to do certain things and act certain ways around the other person and they don't care because they know how you act and its what they like about you. then when someone moves away from what they are accustomed to and all of a sudden they are in annoyingly short relationships that seem to have no meaning until they are ended and then you realize how much you can really come to care about someone in that short amount of time. why cant people be more trusting about your feelings and just let somethings go because they love you.